What Kind of Failure Should We Actually Celebrate?
- Alyssa Zajdel, PhD
- Nov 24
- 3 min read
There’s a moment I’ve returned to a lot lately—not from the rink, but from watching babies learn to walk. They fall constantly. Sometimes hard. And yet no one panics. No one says toddlers who fall aren’t cut out for walking. We cheer. We encourage. We expect the falling to be part of the process.
After getting a retry on my skating test, I started thinking: what if we treated ourselves that way when we “fail”? What if trying again isn’t a detour, but the real work of growth?
Why We Need to Rethink Failure
Most of us grow up learning that failure equals rejection. Didn’t get the grade? You’re not smart enough. Missed the promotion? You weren’t good enough. Fell short in a competition? You’re not talented enough.
But what if that whole framework is wrong? What if failure is less about judgment and more about information? Each time you fall short, you learn something about timing, technique, preparation, or mindset. That’s not actually rejection, it’s feedback.
What Falling Down Really Means (Hint: It’s Not Defeat!)
When we’re kids, failure is baked into learning. We don’t expect toddlers to stand up and walk 10 feet on the first try. We don’t tell them they’re behind or broken when they fall. We recognize that falling is walking in progress.
The same applies to athletes, professionals, and anyone pursuing something meaningful. Failure doesn’t mean you’re at the end of your path. It means you’re still on it.
The “Baby Learning to Walk” Metaphor
Think about a baby learning to walk. Their progress comes from repetition, not perfection. Every fall builds muscle memory, balance, and resilience. Without those falls, walking would never happen at all.
So why do we stop cheering for ourselves once we’re older? Somewhere along the way, we start treating mistakes as proof we’re not enough, instead of evidence that we’re still in motion.
This lens can also help us recognize how unfairly we sometimes judge certain groups. We cheer when toddlers fall, but in life, athletes or employees from marginalized groups may not get the same grace. They’re expected to ‘get it right’ faster, and that inequity makes failure even scarier.
Three Ways to Celebrate Failure as Part of Your Growth Process
See Failure as Data. Each setback gives you new information about what works, what doesn’t, and what you might try next.
Practice the “Not Yet” Mindset. Instead of “I failed,” try “I’m not there yet.” This small shift reframes the moment as a step forward instead of a dead end.
Celebrate the Effort. Growth isn’t just about outcomes—it’s about showing up again and again. Applaud yourself for the courage to keep trying, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Remember that effort looks different depending on access and opportunity. Getting to the rink, field, or classroom takes enormous resilience for some. Celebrating effort means acknowledging people's unique barriers and honoring persistence, not just outcomes.
Takeaways
Failure isn’t proof you’re not capable. It’s proof you’re still trying. And trying (especially after falling!) is where real growth happens.
If we can start celebrating failure the way we cheer for a baby’s wobbly first steps, we might realize that “falling short” is a sign we’re growing.
Reflection Prompt: Think of a time you “fell short” at something important. What did you learn from that experience that helped you grow? Now, take it one step further: if you imagine someone from a different background (different resources, opportunities, or identity than yours) experiencing the same setback, what extra barriers or expectations might they face—and how could we celebrate their effort as much as the outcome?
Ready to See Failure in a New Light?
Working with a sport psychology professional can help you reframe setbacks, celebrate effort, and build lasting resilience. Reach out today to start transforming failure into fuel for growth.
Legal Disclaimer
This blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, psychological services, or medical advice. Reading this post does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are seeking support for your mental health or well-being, consider reaching out to a licensed mental health professional in your area.
