Is It Bad That I Cry So Much Because of Sport?
- Alyssa Zajdel, PhD
- 6 hours ago
- 3 min read
I remember crying during a team skating practice; not because I was injured or anything dramatic had happened, but because I was struggling with a drill that everyone else seemed to be nailing. I felt behind, embarrassed, and deeply frustrated. When the tears came, I tried to hold them back, but my body had other plans. The attention that followed (the “Are you okay?” and “Don’t cry!”) only made me feel worse.
I didn’t just feel like I messed up the drill, I felt like I had broken some unspoken sport rule about how athletes are supposed to handle their emotions.
And I know I’m not the only one.
Tears happen in locker rooms, on sidelines, behind closed doors, and sometimes right in the middle of the action. But because we rarely talk about them, it’s easy to think something’s wrong with us when they show up.
Why We Cry in Sport: It’s Not Just About the Game
Crying is a natural human response to stress, frustration, disappointment, anger, and sometimes even relief. In sport, all of those emotions show up (often all at once!). Add in things like performance pressure, perfectionism, fear of letting others down, or navigating identity in a system that wasn’t built for you, and it’s no surprise that tears come with the territory.
We work with athletes from a range of sports and backgrounds, some balancing multiple jobs and caregiving roles, while others manage chronic injuries or navigate microaggressions from coaches or teammates.
For most athletes, emotional expression doesn’t mean they lack mental toughness. Usually, crying or other forms of emotional expression mean the situation is deeply important to them.
Is Crying a Weakness or a Signal?
One of the most common myths we hear is that crying in sports is a sign of weakness. But mental strength isn’t about never feeling big emotions. It’s about learning how to listen to them, move through them, and still show up for yourself.
Crying isn’t the opposite of toughness. In fact, tears can be a sign that your body is trying to regulate overwhelming stress. Sometimes crying is your nervous system’s way of saying, “I need a moment.”
And athletes (especially those socialized as boys or men, or those who’ve been told to “toughen up” their whole lives) may have learned to suppress emotions so much that when they do cry, it feels like a failure instead of a release.
What Your Tears Might Be Trying to Tell You
Instead of asking, “Why am I crying so much?” try asking, “What is this emotion trying to tell me?”
Here are a few possibilities:
Frustration: You care deeply and feel stuck or behind.
Disappointment: You expected more from yourself, and it didn’t happen.
Fear: You’re scared of losing your role, position, or respect.
Shame: You believe you’ve let someone down or failed in a visible way.
Exhaustion: Your body and mind are running on empty.
These signals can help you respond more effectively. Are you overtraining? Carrying unrealistic expectations? Dealing with other stressors off the field?
How to Support Yourself When You Cry
First, remember that crying isn’t something you need to “fix.” But if it’s showing up often and feels overwhelming, here are a few strategies:
Step away when you need space. A quick reset (like water, movement, or a quiet room) can help you regroup.
Name the emotion. Saying “I’m frustrated” or “I’m sad” helps your brain process the feeling instead of being swept away by it.
Talk to someone you trust. A teammate, coach, therapist, or mentor can help you untangle the emotion beneath the tears.
Challenge the shame. Remind yourself: Crying doesn’t make me weak. It means I’m human.
Build emotional recovery into your routine. Just like physical recovery, emotional recovery matters, especially after tough games, tryouts, or conflicts.
Takeaways
If you cry because of sport, you’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone.
Crying is one way your body processes emotional intensity. It means you care and you’re invested. While the culture of sport doesn’t always leave room for those expressions, remember that you get to make space for them in your own life.
You don’t have to “be fine” all the time to be a serious athlete. You just have to keep showing up and learning how to care for the full version of yourself, tears and all.
Ready to Redefine What Mental Toughness Looks Like?
Next time tears show up, try meeting yourself with compassion instead of criticism. Want help building that skill? Share this with a teammate—or reach out if you’re looking for support.
Legal Disclaimer
This blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, psychological services, or medical advice. Reading this post does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are seeking support for your mental health or well-being, consider reaching out to a licensed mental health professional in your area.
