Are You Letting Stats Define Your Worth as an Athlete?

I’ve worked with so many athletes who focus heavily on their numbers—tennis players constantly checking their rankings, baseball players dreading their batting average updates. 

Stats are everywhere in sport. And while they can offer helpful feedback, they can also quietly erode confidence when they become the only thing we pay attention to.

Even though I’m not in a stat-heavy sport, I’ve felt it, too. I had to take my gold skating skills test, the highest level in the U.S. Figure Skating skills track, three times. It’s considered a significant milestone because passing means you've mastered the most advanced edgework, turns, and power elements—like getting a “black belt” in figure skating! 

The first time I took the test, my average score was a -5. The second time, a -3. Finally, I passed with a 0. That’s the minimum passing score, but to me, that “0” was a lifetime dream come true.

If my scores had gone down—or even stayed flat—I would’ve started questioning everything. Was I actually improving? Was my work worth it? I wasn’t just looking for feedback—I needed proof that I was moving forward and that my effort meant something.

That’s the slippery slope so many athletes end up on: when numbers stop being information and start being identity.

Why Stats Feel So Personal

Stats are everywhere—percentages, times, rankings, shooting accuracy, turnover rates. For high performers, these numbers often start to feel like a measure of personal worth.

And it’s not just about being competitive. I see this in my athletes who are perfectionists or people-pleasers—the ones who always want to do better, be better, prove something. When the numbers don’t reflect progress, it doesn’t just sting—it starts to feel like they’re falling short as a person, not just as an athlete.

I see this in my work with athletes often:

• A tennis player feels shame over a ranking drop, even after winning two tough matches

• A softball player mentally spirals after a week with a low batting average week

• A swimmer starts to dread meets because their split times aren’t “where they should be”

Sometimes, no one else needs to say a word about lowered statistics because athletes already carry that pressure. It shows up in the quiet moments: the drive home, the locker room silence, the self-talk that won’t stop.

What’s Really Going On?

I often talk about this with clients: stats offer data, not a diagnosis for how good you are at your sport. But our brains love patterns and certainty, especially when we’re stressed and numbers feel concrete. They give us a quick answer to the question, Am I doing okay?

But here’s what I want you to remember: stats can’t measure your focus, your leadership, your recovery from an injury, or your emotional growth. They don’t capture the courage it took to compete when your confidence was shaky, or the resilience it takes to keep going when the numbers aren’t moving.

How Identity Shapes Stat Pressure

For some athletes, the weight of the numbers is even heavier.

• Athletes of color may feel like they have to “outperform” to be taken seriously

• Women and nonbinary athletes often feel scrutinized for every mistake

• Athletes from low-income backgrounds may link success to scholarships or financial survival

• Neurodivergent athletes might already be masking or overcompensating in high-pressure settings

In these cases, stats aren’t just about performance but about proving worth. That’s a lot to carry.

So, What Can You Do?

Here’s how to start shifting your relationship with stats:

1. Track what the numbers don’t show

Keep a log of moments when you stayed grounded, encouraged a teammate, or navigated a setback with resilience.

2. Check in with your “why”

Ask: Am I chasing this number because it matters to me, or because I think it should?

3. Set process goals

Focus on things you can control: quality reps, mental focus, and post-game recovery (not just outcomes!).

4. Put stats in context

Sometimes the numbers dip when you’re stretching yourself or playing through challenging conditions, which still counts as progress. Or, they don’t reflect how much you pushed through, adapted, or stayed composed when it mattered most.

5. Talk about it

You’re not the only one who’s felt this way. Let your coach, parent, or therapist know if stats are starting to take up too much space in your mind.

Takeaway: You Are More Than a Number

It’s okay to care about your stats, and it’s certainly okay to want to improve. But numbers are just one part of your story, not your whole story. Your growth, effort, and value are real, even when the data doesn’t show it yet.

How do stats show up in your sport? What relationship do you want with those numbers, and what might need to shift to get there? If you want support in separating your self-worth from performance data, we’re here to help.

START HERE

Legal Disclaimer:

This blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, psychological services, or medical advice. Reading this post does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are seeking support for your mental health or well-being, consider reaching out to a licensed mental health professional in your area.