How Can Perfectionism Make Public Speaking Anxiety Worse?
- Alyssa Zajdel, PhD
- May 27
- 6 min read
The Pressure to Be Perfect on Stage
I once presented at the American Psychological Association’s annual convention as a graduate student to a standing-room-only audience. During this presentation, I felt the weight of needing to be flawless–no stumbles, no “ums,” and no typos in my slides. Besides the need to perform well for this presentation, I felt extra pressure because I was a graduate student presenting to a room mostly full of licensed psychologists and professors.
My perfectionism, the unrealistic pursuit of flawlessness, came out strongly for that presentation. It also increased the anxiety I felt for the event!
Perfectionism is common among high achievers, including athletes, executives, performers, and, of course, graduate students (like me!). In addition, individuals from marginalized groups can feel more pressure to be perfect because of the societal expectation to “prove” themselves.
Understanding the connection between perfectionism and speaking anxiety is the first step to overcoming it.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a mindset that demands extremely high or impossible standards, often leading to fear of failure, procrastination, and self-criticism.
There are several forms of perfectionism:
Self-Oriented: Holding yourself to impossibly high standards.
Socially Prescribed: Feeling external pressure to be perfect due to societal or cultural expectations.
Other-Oriented: Expecting perfection from others.
Specifically in the area of public speaking, perfectionism can look like:
Obsessing over every word in a speech.
Rehearsing excessively but never feeling prepared.
Viewing any mistake as a total failure.
Continuously editing presentation slides without feeling like they are ever “done.”
As stated earlier, perfectionism increases anxiety. So when perfectionism and public speaking meet, anxiety can skyrocket.
How Perfectionism Increases Public Speaking Anxiety
Fear of Mistakes
Many perfectionists equate small mistakes with complete failure. This has happened to me before when I made a mistake and only thought about the error rather than all the parts I did well.
In public speaking, this can happen easily. For example, a speaker stumbles over one word and starts to panic, leading to more mistakes rather than recovering smoothly from the initial error.
In reality, audiences don’t notice minor mistakes as much as speakers think. Typically, only the speaker knows what they plan to say, so the audience has no idea and doesn’t realize the speaker messed up!
Overpreparation and Procrastination
When a perfectionist has a public speaking engagement coming up, they may overprepare or procrastinate (or even both!). Before my big presentation in graduate school, I procrastinated working on it; when I finally did work on it, I overprepared.
Overpreparation occurs when a speaker spends excessive time scripting and memorizing their speech rather than practicing how they will deliver it.
Procrastination occurs when the speaker puts off working on the presentation due to an underlying fear of not meeting the (actually impossible) standards they have set for themselves.
In the corporate world, this can look like an executive pushing a meeting back because the presentation is not “ready yet.”
Harsh Self-Criticism
When preparing the presentation for the American Psychological Association’s annual convention in graduate school, I frequently criticized myself while working on the presentation. Thoughts such as “This isn’t good enough” and “People will know you don’t know what you are talking about” came through my head.
In hindsight, those thoughts were not helpful and led to increased anxiety before the event and even after, as I worried if my thoughts were true to the audience.
Indeed, being mean to yourself is most often unhelpful rather than helpful.
Increased Physical Symptoms of Anxiety
Because of the pressure perfectionism creates and the direct connection between “failure” and self-worth, perfectionists often experience stronger fight-or-flight responses.
You may notice physical symptoms such as shaking, sweating, and voice tremors when the body is in a fight-or-flight response. These worsen in public speaking due to the fear of judgment.
It becomes a cycle of anxiety leading to perceived imperfection, which leads to more anxiety.
Once in this anxiety spiral, it can feel hard to get out of it. However, we can break free from perfectionism by shifting our thinking about mistakes.
Overcoming Perfectionism in Public Speaking
Redefining Success
The first strategy to overcome perfectionism in public speaking is redefining success, shifting from striving for “perfect” to “effective” communication.
Looking back at the presentation I did in graduate school, instead of focusing on giving the presentation perfectly, I could have focused more on telling myself that the presentation would be successful if most audience members understood what I was saying.
Embracing Imperfection
As a perfectionist, accepting mistakes can feel like the antithesis of the goal. However, no one is perfect, and embracing this can lead to more ease.
To work on this, practice in safe environments where small mistakes are accepted (and maybe even encouraged!). Before our presentation at the national convention, my group and I gave the presentation to peers in our research class, which gave us more confidence that even with mistakes, we could still communicate effectively.
Adopting a “good enough” mindset can be much more helpful than a perfectionistic mindset because it leads you to strive for progress rather than perfection.
One of the last academic tasks before graduating with a PhD is writing and defending a dissertation (i.e., an original research paper). Undertaking a dissertation is daunting, as dissertations are often over a hundred pages long (mine was 133 pages!).
A common phrase of wisdom in doctoral programs reflects this “good enough” mindset - “A good dissertation is a done dissertation.” This kind of mentality can be helpful with speech preparation as well!
Using Growth-Oriented Self-Talk
The way we talk to ourselves can make a big difference in how we feel about ourselves and the amount of anxiety we have going into, during, and after an event.
Many perfectionists will say something to themselves like, “I have to be perfect,” or “This presentation better go well.” (As I shared above, I am definitely guilty of this!)
However, we would NEVER say those things to a friend giving a speech! Instead, we may say things to a friend such as “You’ll be great!” or “You’ve worked hard on this!”.
Likewise, we can use this growth-oriented self-talk for ourselves. Phrases like “I will do my best” and “I’ve put the work in to be successful” are kinder ways of talking to ourselves.
Practicing Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques
When we feel anxious or put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect, it can be challenging to stay present. Strategies such as deep breathing and mindfulness exercises help reduce anxiety and increase confidence in real time.
During the presentation in graduate school at the American Psychological Association’s annual convention, I focused on taking deep breaths when my colleague was presenting her part before it was my turn. Staying present this way helped me be mindful and relaxed before it was my turn to speak.
Challenging Perfectionist Thinking with Exposure
It takes time and regular exposure to use the strategies above, such as embracing imperfection and practicing mindfulness. Getting practice speaking in progressively more extensive or more challenging settings can help us feel more comfortable being uncomfortable.
As mentioned earlier, when my colleagues and I gave a practice talk to our peers in a class before our formal presentation, we got exposure to what it was like to present the material and how to overcome mistakes in the moment.
Although it can seem counterintuitive, embracing imperfection does not mean settling for mediocrity or giving low effort. It means allowing yourself to grow!
The Role of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in Perfectionism and Public Speaking Anxiety
Societal Biases Often Reinforce Perfectionism
Certain groups, such as women, people of color, and LGBTQ+ individuals, may feel additional pressure to appear flawless due to implicit biases about them as a person based on their group membership.
For example, a woman in a male-dominated industry (such as engineering) may feel the need to “prove” her expertise through perfect delivery because her male peers are more likely to question or look down on her ideas.
Challenging Perfectionism in Public Spaces
We must encourage diverse voices and embrace different communication styles to combat perfectionism. We can also confront our implicit biases that impact our opinions of others in the workplace.
Representation does matter, and seeing imperfect and authentic, yet still effective, speakers from various backgrounds can inspire others and help them feel more comfortable speaking up.
Conclusion: Progress Over Perfection
While perfectionism fuels speaking anxiety, it does not have to control you.
A key takeaway about perfectionism and public speaking is that confidence comes from practice, being kind to ourselves, and embracing imperfection.
I certainly was not perfect when I gave the speech at the national convention. However, I did not need to be, and our group got so many compliments afterwards (from strangers!) about how engaging, well-researched, and polished our presentation was.
So, the best public speakers aren’t perfect. What they are, however, is authentic, resilient, and willing to grow.
Ready to break free from perfectionism and speak with more confidence? Connect with our sports psychology team and start your growth today!